I have long believed the most impactful thing anyone can do is raising children to become good people. I also know absolutely that it won’t happen if you are relying on the schools or the church to “socialize” your kids. Because society today is ugly, not beautiful.
The Matrix, from the iconic film series, is a simulated reality created by intelligent machines to control and pacify humans while using their bodies as an energy source. In everyday speech, “the Matrix” often refers to any complex, hidden system of control or illusion that people might be trapped in without realizing it. It is used metaphorically to describe situations where individuals feel manipulated or constrained by unseen forces, whether in society, work, or personal life.
In a sense we are all in the matrix of our society. As in Plato’s cave, we all think we are experiencing the truth or reality, but can only see the world through the lens of our experiences. This skews what we think of as “normal” or “good”. Society is mostly backward on every moral issue now. Motherhood is drudgery, fatherhood is a chain, drugs and alcohol are harmless fun, and unlimited and casual sexual experiences are healthy.
Children are even more susceptible to influences around them than adults. Modern society has atrocious manners, work ethic, and morals. Lying, cheating, and seeking success or pleasure no matter the cost comes before truth, compassion, or improving the world.
I wanted to raise my children with morality in tact. I wanted them to be shocked by the hedonism and depravity of their peers and elders when they encountered it for the first time, not raised in the midst of it until it felt normal.
Here’s What I Did
I don’t know if it will work for your kids, I only know that what I did work mine. All of them have a strong work ethic, considerate manners, and moral spines.
Church
The first thing I did was take them to church.
It matters which church, of course. You must choose one that teaches goodness and the morality of God, not of man. But beyond that, it’s not terribly important the exact creed. Only, please also teach them that their religion does not make them better or more worthy than others. It is there to give them extract strength and instruction, not to lord it over their struggling fellows.
Limit Screens
The next thing I did was to turn off the TV.
We didn’t have TV service in our home as they grew up. We had TVs and played old fashioned DVDs, which obviously allowed us to control the content. TV viewing was mostly a family event where we watched together.
Zero Socialization by the Heathens in the Schools
I also homeschooled my kids.
I accidently started homeschooling when my oldest has issues with his kindergarten teacher. I’m on the other end now and I can unequivocally say, homeschooling was a blessing beyond anything I could have imagined. I molded my kid’s world; taught them the frailties of humanity though history; taught them the unmatched miracle of our universe through science; and taught them the beautiful and the barbarous of the current world in geography lessons. I taught them the truth, not a skewed version of “my truth”.
Literally, Remove Them From a Sick Society
We moved to the country.
This wasn’t to protect our family at first. We just moved to the country after getting heartily sick of neighbors in the city while our kids were very young. But it was wonderful, giving them ten acres of woods and fields to run over. They chopped trees down, built forts, climbed, played in dirt, and tested their own mettle on a regular basis. It made them confident and decisive.
It also kept them far away from bad influences. They went places, did things, and saw people all the time, but it was controlled and supervised to a large extent, though I never was a hoverer.
No Choice About Manners, Total Freedom of Conscious and Choice
The cap on it all was insisting on good manners while allowing them freedom over their own path.
I never allowed my children to fight with each other. They did fight, but I ended it and made sure those who were truly at fault were corrected (usually it was both parties). I also never allowed my children to treat me badly by whining, begging, or treating me as though I were their servant. They worked, we all worked, to run the household and do the chores. And I never allowed them to treat unsuspecting strangers badly by disrupting story time at the library, peaceful dinners at a restaurant, or the calm of the grocery store.
But, this is important, they always could disagree on philosophy, beliefs, or personal style. I let them choose their clothes and hairstyles with freedom, insisting only on cleanliness. I let them listen to the music they wanted and pursue the hobbies or activities they liked. They were allowed to pick the menu when they were cooking dinner, the family outing when it was their turn, whatever books they liked at the library, and after they grew up, they could go to whatever church, or no church, with no censure from me.
Raising Children Right Is An Art
I have found that attending church provides children with strong moral guidance and a sense of community, while limiting screen time encourages them to engage more deeply with the world around them and develop healthier habits. Homeschooling allows for personalized education tailored to their values and needs, fostering a love of learning and critical thinking. Living in the country offers a peaceful environment that challenges children in healthy ways and promotes responsibility through daily chores. Teaching manners instills respect, empathy, and kindness, all essential qualities for becoming good, well-rounded individuals. Together, these practices create a nurturing foundation for children to grow into compassionate and responsible adults.
Your recipe for raising children will vary from mine, but some principles always apply. Morals have to be actively taught. Children should not be steeped in evil ever. And socialization happens when caring adults teach children what accpetable behaviors are. It does not happen from peers and certsainly not in schools.
